i don’t know how to start this, because I can hardly admit it to myself, let alone to anyone else. But here it is: I’ve been sleeping with my best friend’s husband. I never thought I would be that person—the kind of woman who betrays her best friend, who wrecks a family, who does something so disgusting and wrong. But somehow, I’ve become exactly that.
It started innocently, or at least, that’s what I convinced myself of. We were all so close—me, him, and her. My best friend and I have been through everything together, and I always thought of her husband as a brother. I never looked at him that way—at least not until that one night. The night things shifted. We were at her house, having a few drinks, laughing, and talking. It was late, and we were the last ones left awake. She went upstairs to bed, leaving us alone on the couch. And I don’t know what happened, but the air felt different. There was a tension between us that hadn’t been there before.
We ended up talking. Really talking, about everything—about our lives, about love, about things we never said out loud. He told me things about his marriage, about how things had been distant, how he felt lonely. I told him about my own struggles, how I felt lost in my own life. It felt like we were two people, completely seen by each other in that moment. But I know now it was more than just talking. I should have stopped, but I didn’t.
The next thing I knew, we were kissing. I don’t even know how it escalated that fast, but I didn’t stop it. I didn’t stop him. I didn’t stop myself. It felt so wrong, but at the same time, it felt like nothing I’d ever felt before. The guilt came quickly after, but the pull to be with him didn’t fade. It only grew stronger.
Since then, we’ve been seeing each other in secret—behind her back. I keep telling myself that I’ll end it, that I can’t keep doing this to her, but then he calls, and I’m back in his arms, and all that logic just fades away. It’s like he has this hold over me. I tell myself I’m just helping him, comforting him in his loneliness, but deep down I know it’s more than that. I want him. I’m in love with him. And that terrifies me.
I feel like I’m drowning in this. I can’t walk away from him, no matter how many times I tell myself I should. Every time I try to imagine my life without him, it feels impossible. I love her—I really do—but I’ve crossed a line that can never be uncrossed. I’ve hurt her in ways I’ll never be able to make up for. And yet, I can’t walk away from him.
I’ve ruined everything, and I don’t know how to make it right. Every time I think about ending it, I feel this unbearable ache inside me. I’m stuck. I feel like a monster, but I can’t stop. Maybe I don’t even deserve to be forgiven. But I’m drowning in guilt and love and fear all at once, and I can’t see a way out.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to stop. But I can’t keep living this lie.
Support Our Website!
We appreciate your visit and hope you find our content valuable. If you’d like to support us further, please consider contributing through the TILL NUMBER above. Your support helps us keep delivering great content!
Thank you for your generosity!