simply amazing, always for you.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go!
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy!
What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the cow go on a diet?
Because it wanted to be a lean, mean, moo-ing machine!
What did the pencil say to the paper?
I’m drawn to you!
Why was the broom late?
It swept in!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big red rock eater!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine!
What did the cow say to the farmer?
Moo-ve over!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything!
Why did the frog call his insurance company?
He had a jump in his car!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite!
How does a snowman get around?
By riding an “icicle”!
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room!
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish!
What’s a frog’s favorite candy?
Lollihops!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved!
Why are ghosts bad at lying?
Because they are too transparent!
What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Nothing but let out a little wine!
Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore!
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I’m going on ahead!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go!
What did the apple say to the pie?
You’re the apple of my pie!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus!
Why do fish never play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Why did the teddy bear say “no” to dessert?
Because he was already stuffed!
How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it was feeling crummy!
What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple!
What do you call a bear in the rain?
A drizzly bear!
Why was the belt arrested?
Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
Why don’t vampires ever attack clowns?
Because they taste funny!
What’s a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick!
Why did the horse go behind the tree?
To change his jockeys!
What’s the smartest insect?
A spelling bee!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools!
Why was the broom late?
It swept in!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!
Why did the duck go to the doctor?
Because he had a quack in his voice!
Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
What did the cow say to the moon?
Mooon!
What do you call a snowman with a suntan?
A puddle!
Why do elephants never use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball!
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk!
How does a snowman get around?
By riding an “icicle”!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
What do you call a bunny who tells jokes?
A funny bunny!
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating?
Because they have no body to go with!
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
What do you call a pencil with no lead?
Pointless!
What’s black and white and goes around and around?
A penguin in a revolving door!
Why do cows make great friends?
Because they’re always there to moo-ve you!
What do you call a polar bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school!
What do you call a fish who practices medicine?
A sturgeon!
Why was the broom late?
It swept in!
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I’m going on ahead!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
Why did the cow go on a diet?
Because it wanted to be a lean, mean, moo-ing machine!
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
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